I have been thinking about my Dad as Father’s Day is approaching. He has been gone for 6 years now and I find myself still wanting to pick up the phone and call him. My Dad was the kind of guy who was very giving and who wouldn’t say no unless he absolutely had to.
He would never say that he would have appreciated being thanked for anything and yet I knew that it meant a lot to him when he was. I think that as men age, they soften because they realize that they may need others, thus, they become more vulnerable. My dad was like that and it was comforting to me to know the more sensitive side of him. I am glad that I got to know him as a friend as a adult.
My husband on the other hand never really had the experience of his father because he passed away when he was very young. I think that we find ways through the years to be fathered by other men whether it through being taught a new skill, playing a game of ball or a fishing trip.
My daughter seems to have a different relationship with her dad than I did. She really expresses how she feels about him, they talk about how they feel and they work things out. They like to spend time playing basketball, alleys and going for ATV rides. My experience with her is very different and I think that is the way it should be.
The way we celebrate Fathers are very different than Mothers. In our house on Father’s Day, we suggest having a bbq and he gladly obliges. We also treat this day like any other. He knows that we value him as a man, father and partner. Most people think that you don’t need to tell your parents how important they are to you. I think that it is necessary. To share your deepest feelings with those you love is very important. To grow, learn and become better human beings creates a shift in humanity.
When I think about the men in our society, I think that more of them need to be mentors. I sometimes sit back and examine who I am as a person and who I would like to become or who I am becoming. I would like to see the men in my life and in society do the same.
I once had a friend who was from Ecuador that all women are celebrated in his homeland on Mother’s Day. I wonder if they do the same for Father’s Day.
How do you celebrate your Dad?